Birth plans
I've been wanting to type this post for a long time. It has just been a matter of sitting down to type it. When I get home, we spend time with Lincoln and put him to bed. Afterwards, I just want to relax, watch TV and go to bed. Occasionally, I do school work if I have something due.
Anyways, we found out November 1 that we were expecting our second baby. When we found out, I had changed my mind about wanting a second baby, even though we were trying. Needless to say, the news was anticlimactic. We are about 1 month out from our second one arriving and I still doubt that we can take care of two children. I know it is going to be an adjustment. Lincoln is in a tough stage right now. "It's mine!", hitting, stomping and crying. Joe's patience is not the best with Lincoln, which makes our home stressful. He likes harmonious environments so Joe has to walk away when Lincoln acts like that. I am supposed to be in a stress-free environment during pregnancy. It is actually less stressful at work right now and we are in the last week of the school year! That says a lot about what our home life is like right now. This is a stage, right?
We are in week 34 of pregnancy. We are not finding out the gender of the baby so we are going to be surprised. Since we are not finding out the gender, names have not been a priority. We decided on a girl name a while back, but we have not nailed down a middle name. This weekend we decided on a boy name. We had several we liked as we did when we were choosing Lincoln's name.
Since we are moving back to SC, we are not setting up a nursery. We are going to use a small play pen and we have a co-sleeper for our bed. We'll set up a changing table. You don't stress as much about a second. I'm hoping having done this before will make it easier- the diaper changes, nursing, crying fits, colds, sleepless nights, etc.
Lincoln woke up at 1:30am crying. Sometimes he soothes himself, but he didn't last night so I got up with him. It reminded me of how I am going to be doing this again very soon. It reminded me of how alone I felt when I was getting up every two hours to feed him. When Joe did get up to help (usually be request), he couldn't get back to bed fast enough. He isn't a middle-of the-night kind of person. Who is? I feel overwhelmed, sad, and tired already knowing what is coming next month.
When I was at yoga on Saturday, at introductions we introduced one fear when we have going into birth. I said mine was taking care of a newborn and a 21-month old. I know how rough it is for us to take care of Lincoln right now. He is in a throwing-stuff-when-he-is-told-he-can't-have-or-do-something phase. Another lady there expressed the same fear as me, but in a more explanatory way. She said that she doesn't want to miss out her older ones life while she is taking care of the new one, but also wants to take as much time doing the things she did with the first with the second. I knew exactly what she meant and I think that is what I fear more than the actual birth itself is missing out on dinner time with the boys, bath time and bedtime routines or trips to the park because I will be recovering or nursing. Lincoln will want me to hold him and I won't be able to all the time and it will break my heart. I cry every time I think about it.
When we decided to have a second baby, we had a choice to make as far as the kind of birth we wanted. Since I've had a cesarean, we knew a repeat cesarean is the most traveled road. Doctors don't tell you the risks involved with that route. They will encourage, or rather scare you from making the alternate choice. I know this because I am well-informed when it comes to birth. I also attend monthly meetings so I get information and statistics. Our other choice was a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). Doctors will scare you with the uterine rupture card and won't even let you have a trial of labor so they schedule a repeat cesarean. It is actually beneficial for your body and your baby to labor. We weighed our options and preferences. I knew I had to try a VBAC. I would always wonder if I could've done it. Recovering from my cesarean emotionally was tough and I didn't want the question in the back of mind for the rest of my life. I tried on the shoes of a repeat Cesarean. Where I wouldn't be tired from laboring if the surgery was scheduled, it would seem to anticlimactic to be wheeled in with no signs of labor.
Once we decided on the VBAC, then we had to decide where we wanted this to happen. As progressive as Athens is, options are limited. There are a couple hospitals in Atlanta (Intown Midwifery or Emory) and a case-by-case depending on what physician is on call scenario in Athens (Athens Regional). With my first pregnancy, I had two midwives I trusted, but their hospital protocols made me want to avoid a hospital. Period. So we looked into the home birth route. The co-leader of the ICAN of Athens had an HBAC (Home Birth After Cesarean) and also a lady my mom's age from church had also. I started calling midwives. Some said I was too far away for a VBAC, some didn't attend VBAC's and others weren't available around my EDD. Finally, I found one women that said I was in her radius and she attended VBAC's. I spoke with her on the phone first and through email. Joe and I decided to schedule a consultation/appointment with her and we hired her to be our midwife. She lives near Augusta so we travel about 2 hours to see her for our prenatal visits. She has an office set up in her home with an apprentice and an assistant that attend all of our appointments too. She'll be coming to our house in June for the home visit (37-weeks) where they see where we live and make sure we have the home birth kit ready.
I don't tell a whole lot of people that we are preparing for a home birth. My parents and in-laws know. I've told maybe four people at work and a couple people from church. I haven't broad casted it on facebook. I was warned that I could be called selfish and that I am putting my baby (and myself) at risk by doing this. I don't know anyone outside of Athens that has had a VBAC so I might already be considered "radical" by most and then on top of that I am preparing to birth at home. This is just what my husband and I feel most comfortable doing. The Lord knows the desire of our hearts.
Anyways, we found out November 1 that we were expecting our second baby. When we found out, I had changed my mind about wanting a second baby, even though we were trying. Needless to say, the news was anticlimactic. We are about 1 month out from our second one arriving and I still doubt that we can take care of two children. I know it is going to be an adjustment. Lincoln is in a tough stage right now. "It's mine!", hitting, stomping and crying. Joe's patience is not the best with Lincoln, which makes our home stressful. He likes harmonious environments so Joe has to walk away when Lincoln acts like that. I am supposed to be in a stress-free environment during pregnancy. It is actually less stressful at work right now and we are in the last week of the school year! That says a lot about what our home life is like right now. This is a stage, right?
We are in week 34 of pregnancy. We are not finding out the gender of the baby so we are going to be surprised. Since we are not finding out the gender, names have not been a priority. We decided on a girl name a while back, but we have not nailed down a middle name. This weekend we decided on a boy name. We had several we liked as we did when we were choosing Lincoln's name.
Since we are moving back to SC, we are not setting up a nursery. We are going to use a small play pen and we have a co-sleeper for our bed. We'll set up a changing table. You don't stress as much about a second. I'm hoping having done this before will make it easier- the diaper changes, nursing, crying fits, colds, sleepless nights, etc.
Lincoln woke up at 1:30am crying. Sometimes he soothes himself, but he didn't last night so I got up with him. It reminded me of how I am going to be doing this again very soon. It reminded me of how alone I felt when I was getting up every two hours to feed him. When Joe did get up to help (usually be request), he couldn't get back to bed fast enough. He isn't a middle-of the-night kind of person. Who is? I feel overwhelmed, sad, and tired already knowing what is coming next month.
When I was at yoga on Saturday, at introductions we introduced one fear when we have going into birth. I said mine was taking care of a newborn and a 21-month old. I know how rough it is for us to take care of Lincoln right now. He is in a throwing-stuff-when-he-is-told-he-can't-have-or-do-something phase. Another lady there expressed the same fear as me, but in a more explanatory way. She said that she doesn't want to miss out her older ones life while she is taking care of the new one, but also wants to take as much time doing the things she did with the first with the second. I knew exactly what she meant and I think that is what I fear more than the actual birth itself is missing out on dinner time with the boys, bath time and bedtime routines or trips to the park because I will be recovering or nursing. Lincoln will want me to hold him and I won't be able to all the time and it will break my heart. I cry every time I think about it.
When we decided to have a second baby, we had a choice to make as far as the kind of birth we wanted. Since I've had a cesarean, we knew a repeat cesarean is the most traveled road. Doctors don't tell you the risks involved with that route. They will encourage, or rather scare you from making the alternate choice. I know this because I am well-informed when it comes to birth. I also attend monthly meetings so I get information and statistics. Our other choice was a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). Doctors will scare you with the uterine rupture card and won't even let you have a trial of labor so they schedule a repeat cesarean. It is actually beneficial for your body and your baby to labor. We weighed our options and preferences. I knew I had to try a VBAC. I would always wonder if I could've done it. Recovering from my cesarean emotionally was tough and I didn't want the question in the back of mind for the rest of my life. I tried on the shoes of a repeat Cesarean. Where I wouldn't be tired from laboring if the surgery was scheduled, it would seem to anticlimactic to be wheeled in with no signs of labor.
Once we decided on the VBAC, then we had to decide where we wanted this to happen. As progressive as Athens is, options are limited. There are a couple hospitals in Atlanta (Intown Midwifery or Emory) and a case-by-case depending on what physician is on call scenario in Athens (Athens Regional). With my first pregnancy, I had two midwives I trusted, but their hospital protocols made me want to avoid a hospital. Period. So we looked into the home birth route. The co-leader of the ICAN of Athens had an HBAC (Home Birth After Cesarean) and also a lady my mom's age from church had also. I started calling midwives. Some said I was too far away for a VBAC, some didn't attend VBAC's and others weren't available around my EDD. Finally, I found one women that said I was in her radius and she attended VBAC's. I spoke with her on the phone first and through email. Joe and I decided to schedule a consultation/appointment with her and we hired her to be our midwife. She lives near Augusta so we travel about 2 hours to see her for our prenatal visits. She has an office set up in her home with an apprentice and an assistant that attend all of our appointments too. She'll be coming to our house in June for the home visit (37-weeks) where they see where we live and make sure we have the home birth kit ready.
I don't tell a whole lot of people that we are preparing for a home birth. My parents and in-laws know. I've told maybe four people at work and a couple people from church. I haven't broad casted it on facebook. I was warned that I could be called selfish and that I am putting my baby (and myself) at risk by doing this. I don't know anyone outside of Athens that has had a VBAC so I might already be considered "radical" by most and then on top of that I am preparing to birth at home. This is just what my husband and I feel most comfortable doing. The Lord knows the desire of our hearts.
.jpg)
Comments