Breaking the Habit

I remember sucking my two middle fingers when I was a kid. I was old enough to remember so I was old enough. I also bit my fingernails. My parents used a nasty tasting polish to paint on my nails and took my skating doll away when I sucked my fingers. They put her up in the closet. I remember I was determined to get her back so I put my fingers under my pillow and didn't do it again.

As a 4th grade teacher in Athens, there was a girl in my class that still sucked her thumb. Her nail was mildewed and bumpy from being wet all the time.

This is when Lincoln decided he prefered his fingers over a pacifier

When Lincoln came out of my womb, he had a hickey on his arm from sucking it while he was waiting to come out. So when he started sucking his fingers a few weeks old, it didn't surprise, especially since I sucked the same two fingers myself.

THEN Lincoln discovered satin tags on blankets, stuffed animals, and clothes. He rubbed the tags on his lips and nose. It comforted him, soothed him, and put him to sleep. If he didn't have a receiving blanket with a tag, he was satisfied with a coat or hat that had a tag. He's had one since this moment. 

June 21, 2012, Lincoln discovered a satin tag on his wagon blanket

He's had several toys that he's been attached to at various times- receiving blankets, a monkey rattle, and a stuffed monkey. A friend of mine, Beth, that taught with me in China, gave him a stuffed monkey when he was a newborn. He only recently started having a fascination with it.  

When he wakes up, when he goes to bed

Monkey even had a sling for a bike ride.

At school, the monkey is called a "sleep friend". The kids can only have them at naptime.

Monkey goes everywhere with us

I talked to the dentist about Lincoln sucking his fingers. His teeth have not been affected...yet. He just recommended that he be weaned before his permanent teeth come in. Joseph and I were talking this week and he asked, "What are we waiting on?" I always like to do research before I blindly take on a parenting task. Grey had a pacifier and we weaned her rather quickly at 14 months by cutting the tip off and letting her cry for a little while. She got over it quickly and rubs her hair now as she dozing off. 

I think a lot of habits are prolonged because of the parents. It makes life easier just having the habit than addressing them. Lincoln was quiet while riding in the van with his fingers in his mouth rubbing his "soft" tag. Why would I want to disrupt that? He has gotten to a point where he won't wear a shirt if there isn't a soft tag sewn in the side. 

So I went on Pinterest and searched finger sucking. I saw a pin for "gently" ending thumb sucking. I read the article and thought that is where we should start. I sent it to Joseph so he could read it and we would be on the same page and stick to the same plan. He liked the article and agreed. So when Lincoln asked Joseph where his monkey is he would say the same thing, "We put him up until you are older." 

Yesterday morning, Lincoln and I were lying in bed before Grey woke up and I prepared him by telling him that I was going to put monkey away until he got older. Of course, he said, "Noooooo!" When it was time for school, he left monkey lying on our bed so I didn't remind him. I acted surprised when we were in the van and he realized he didn't have him. He was concerned about not having his sleep friend at nap time, but there weren't any melt-downs. So while he was at school, I put monkey in the top of our closet instead of his, like we usually do. His teacher said Lincoln had an amazing day at school and even earned a ticket for making good choices when nobody else was. We bragged by telling Grandma and Daddy so he would get some praises. He carried that ticket in his pocket. I told his teacher when I picked him up about what we were doing at home and she said they would support us at school if we wanted. 

Lincoln knows he is working towards a big party celebration when he quits sucking his fingers. We will have cupcakes and invite over some people. That is the incentive he is working towards. 

So it was time for bed and he started asking where monkey was. Joseph was praying and he was up walking around the room asking for him. He couldn't get comfortable or settled. After Grey fell asleep, I told him to come in the living room with me to watch so TV. He didn't quite know what to do with his hands while he was sitting there. He propped his head up with his hands. He saw a soft tag in his jacket on the couch and started rubbing it and I grunted to remind him so he took his fingers out of his mouth. He was up with me until 10:00pm and then he got in the bed with us and slept all night. 

Sucking his fingers while we ride in the van was standard behavior so he has been taking his LeapPad with him so he has something to occupy him. Like they say, you replace one bad habit with another...If he has a jacket with him, he will suck his fingers while he watches Berenstain Bears. Sometimes he will wear his mittens or eat a snack and that keeps him from sucking his fingers. 

10/27/15 Update: Lincoln still sucks his fingers when he goes to sleep at night. He doesn't have a satin tag so he tosses and turns a bit. Sometimes we separate the kids until Grey falls asleep. Lincoln will get a story in our bed while we wait for her to doze off. Sometimes all four us lay in the kids' room while we wait for both of them to doze off. Lincoln has successfully quit sucking his fingers while he watches television. We are still working on the van ride and bedtime. He is working on it and understands that he can't have a party until he quits for good. Occasionally, he will shout, "I want monkey!" but we change the subject or remind him that he will get it back when he gets older. Like any addiction, I don't expect a change overnight so I feel like the process is going well.