Take a bath you dirty hippie

I know this post is going to be lengthy and I have been wanting to write it, but the task seems daunting because I don't want to leave anything out and want to express myself fully.

I'm trying to remember when I started feeling moved to try out the minimalism philosophy. I think we were living in our December-May rental. Prior to that rental we were in a 1,315 square foot house next door. Our neighbors moved and we moved into their two-story 2,081 square foot house. We actually made an offer on the house, but the whole process fell through, which ended up being a good thing. So instead of buying the house, we got to try it out and I found (and Joseph probably did too), that it was not the house for us.

The house was sooo spread out, which I thought was a good thing at first. A l l  t h a t  r o o m. Our 2 & 4 year shared a room like they had in the previous house. Our 16-year old exchange student had his own room upstairs, who we never saw. Laundry room was upstairs and we never caught up. Actually, thinking back to the house, life wasn't very great there. The kids' behavior was the worse it had ever been, there was no connection with our exchange student, and it was tough getting everything put away because it was a trek upstairs. The kids wanted to sleep and get dressed in our room downstairs and Joseph and I joked about a 1-room studio is all we needed because the kids were everywhere we were anyways.

We had closet shelves with little on them and nothing in the attic. We definitely had more space than we needed. I felt like I had too much on my plate and needed to eliminate some responsibilities.

We looked at houses to buy and you can read that blog here on how we ended up with the one we are in now.

This is what minimalism looks like to me and our journey so far.

The two dogs were an added stress. The kids were scared of them. I didn't want dog hair and dirt all over the house. Pets have a smell. Their dog food cost money. I felt guilty for neglecting the vet and their parasite and heart worm treatments. They barked when people knocked on the door, rang the door bell, walked by the yard, etc. When we moved in December, we rehomed them. Joseph and I had been wanting to do that for a while because we thought perhaps they would have more meaningful lives somewhere else. We have two children and our focus is on them now.

Emotional detachments come with ease for me so this minimalism and decluttering is not as difficult as it could be for some. I was listening to a podcast last week while I was painting a door. The authors were talking about how we shouldn't have anything in our life that we can't walk away from in 30 seconds. Quoted from the Essential essay The Things We Are Prepared to Walk Away From "We can walk away when they no longer add value to our lives or worse when they drain value from our life."

Another thing I eliminated from my life were a couple part-time jobs. I placed exchange students for Cultural Homestead International. I enjoyed a lot about my Academic Coordinator position, but there were some toxic components that drained value from my life. I happened to place 5 girls before I resigned, but it felt so freeing to hand over my binders, marketing supplies and my students in June.

Deciding not to host another exchange student for a while (if ever again) is also a relief. The dynamics of our little family of 4 has improved since our exchange student moved out. Joseph is a more attentive father and the kids absolutely adore him. They express their love and admiration for him regularly and they aren't so insistent on me doing everything. They actually request Joseph to do things they wouldn't let him do in the past--read a bedtime story, lay with them while they doze off, give them a bath, wipe their bottoms...

The kids have also bonded with each other too. We had them close in age on purpose so they would be best friends and enjoy each other's company growing up. Grey is 3 and Lincoln is 4. They still share a room in our 2-bedroom house. I keep them home from school 2 out of 5 days. The kids have started using their imaginations and often go to their room to play school, house, store, doctor, and police. They still argue about who had a toy first or who gets to choose the next episode on Netflix, but their relationship has strengthened.

Love grows best in little houses with fewer walls 

to separate

where you and eat and sleep so close together, 

you can't help but communicate. 

And if we had more room between us,

think of all we'd miss. 

Love grows best in little houses like this. 

This quote is one of my favorites and speaking from 2-months experience, I can say this tiny house has improved the family relationships in our home. We now occupy 1,094 square feet. On our first night's sleep here, I already appreciated it. Grey started crying out from her room as she does regularly. All I had to do was walk around a door frame to the kids' room. I didn't need a monitor, I didn't have to run upstairs or to the other end of the house to get to her. As I crawling back to my bed, my happiness elevated at how quickly I was able to comfort my baby girl and get back to sleep myself. I knew the downsize had been a good decision. 

How I decided what to "walk away from": broken, cheap quality, stained, didn't fit, didn't like how it fit, bad memories associated with it, duplicates, will never wear again, etc. The quote below narrows down the process for me. We have it written on our chalkboard wall in our living room. Joseph was contemplating an item the other day and he jokingly looked at the wall, and said, "Well, it isn't useful or beautiful so I guess I shouldn't keep it."  

So moving into a house with no walk-in closets and smaller bedrooms, we knew purging was inevitable. I had this crazy idea to put all of our clothes in one dresser. The kids' room was already small and I didn't want to use floor and closet space for another piece of furniture so while I was home one day, I assigned each person a drawer and put their clothes in it. I took the (smaller) top drawer (the selfless person that I am). I kept one over-sized t-shirt as a night gown, tank tops, camisoles, exercise shorts, sweat pants, like 5 pairs of socks, panties and bras, one hat, a pair of mittens, a scarf, a wide and narrow belt, and that's it. My dresses, jeans, tops, and LuLaRoe clothes I hung in my closet. I felt proud of my accomplishment. I assigned the bottom drawers for the kids so they could reach them. They also had dresses and church clothes hanging in their closet. Joseph needed two rounds of purging to complete the task, but he did it. Grant it, his clothes do take up more room their ours. 

The family chest of drawers

Putting clothes away is so easy. I make a pile on the bed for each person (and Grey can even help me with this) and then we sort them. All the clothes in that pile go in the same drawer. Getting dressed for school and church is easy too. We all go in the same room, get the clothes out and get dressed. No running to other bedrooms or up to the laundry room. There are less clothes to dirty, therefore less to wash and put away so I am able to stay on top of the laundry!! In one to two loads, laundry is done. It isn't a daunting task like it has been for several years.

Not only are we living in a smaller space, we still have managed to not fill it to capacity where it feels like a "tiny house". I cleaned out the linens for the hall closet and sorted by beach towels, blankets, bedding, curtains, wet bags, and dish towels. 

hall closet

 The bath towels went in the bathroom cabinet so they were easy to access when you were dripping wet. I donated the towels that we had for 7 years. Now we just wash them more regularly, which is probably best so they don't sour anyways.

bathroom cabinet 

Another benefit I've found to a smaller house is less house to clean. I can sweep a whole house rather quickly. The kids can sort their own toys back into storage bins and buckets. Since the house is smaller, toys can't be spread out but so far. On a side note, I can stand in the kids' room and see the other side of the house a few feet away. The carport and screened in porch off the back make the house look "bigger" than it is. I've heard that tiny houses make you extend your house outdoors. I call the porch the "extended playroom". We do spend a lot of time outdoors in our mature yard in a safe neighborhood. 

Another way I have simplified is by deleting apps on my phone that I do not use, cleaning out inboxes, and deleting people on facebook. I foresee a hiatus from social media coming soon. Joseph and I haven't had cable TV for 3 years now. We first did it for financial reasons in 2013 and then we saw how much time it freed up so we never subscribed. We also liked not hearing negative and biased messages from commercials and news stations. It is pretty liberating not knowing what is going on in the world. I know there are horrible things happening, but it doesn't have to be in my face, effect my mood, oppress me. I know how the world ends and the current events and natural disasters do not scare me. 

Do you know anyone that will unload every piece of negative news and gossip on you as soon as you see them? "There was a burglary at the Dollar General this morning. My dog died last night. The AC isn't working. " The people that stir up anger and negative thoughts are the ones that drain your life. That is where "unfriend" and "unfollow" come in handy.

One area we are struggling with is simplifying finances. We did cut our monthly rent/mortgage almost in half. Rent was $1000 and then $1200 and when we bought the house it was $400 something but with taxes and insurance $706.  We didn't care what people thought or said about us buying an old, 2 bedroom ranch-style home for $109,000. The consumerism aspect is still tough for "simple" people. We still have wants. They may be wants of different quality, condition, and brand, but I've found delaying gratification and exercising self-control is a struggle. Just because something is free or was on sale, or given to you, doesn't mean we need to take it. We were at a parade yesterday. We were given two koozies and two Frisbee's. I thought, "I don't want these in my house. We already cleaned out koozies and kept two because that's all we need. We have a Frisbee."

Eliminating clutter and getting rid of things that aren't being used benefits the emotions and mind. The goal of a simple life is enriching your spirit and I do feel lighter. It is a spiritual journey a well. Jesus was probably the ultimate minimalist, if that had been a label back then.

I wanted to know what the Bible says about minimalism so I did some research to find some scriptures that would encourage me (and others) in the journey.

• Then Jesus said to them, "Be careful and guard against all kids of greed. A man's life is not measured by the many things he owns. Luke 12:15

• It is true that serving God makes a person very rich, if he is satisfied with what he has. When he came into the world, we brought nothing. And when we die we can take nothing out. So, if we have food and clothes, we will be satisfied with that. I Timothy 6:6-8

• Don't store treasures for yourself here on earth. Moths and rust will destroy treasures here on earth. And thieves can break into your house and steal they things you have. So store your treasures in heaven. The treasures in heaven cannot be destroyed by moths or rust. And thieves cannot break in and steal that treasure. Your heart will be where your treasure is. Matthew 6:19-21

(formatting messed up here and I can't figure out how to fix it)

My friend, Eve, told me about a documentary coming out in August called Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. The closest showing is in Jacksonville. Or you can pre- order the documentary for $20 and watch it online on August 2. I am contemplating trying to arrange a viewing here in Beaufort. Perhaps contact the Drive-In and see if Minimalism can be shown one evening (or longer if they desire) in August.

"When I take on new ideas and habits I do so because it has the potential to add value to my life." -The Minimalists

Now I am very particular about what I add to my life--ministries and volunteer opportunities, what hobbies I want to try, people I want to interact, extracurricular activities for the kids, commitments at school and church. I can streamline that. Joseph mentioned getting another dog and it just isn't the right time. I like not having any guests living in our home or pets we have to care for. We have switched the kids' dance studio so they will be dancing with a new company in the fall. We are keeping them at their preschool that they have been attending for 3 years instead of fulfilling their seats at the Montessori school. It was going to require morning and afternoon care tuition, in addition to the charter school tuition. The kids were going to have to be transported by bus. There were so many things about the situation that raised flags. 

Grey's b-day party

Grey turned 3 in June. Instead of stressing over a "Pinterest party" with themed decorations, themed favors, and themed foods, we decided to have a small dinner and cake with grandparents only. We didn't even decorate the house or the cake. We had a large bowl of tortellini salad with bell peppers, tomatoes, salami and pepperoni. Grey wanted vanilla cake, icing, and ice cream, which was fine with me since they are dye-free. We asked that she be given money for dance tuition or her savings account. My mom and MIL already purchased a couple articles of clothes for her so those were the only gifts she received. Joseph and I took her on a weekend trip to Georgia so we could show her where she was born and some of our favorite places when we lived there. Then she went to Babyland General in Cleveland, Ga so she could pick out a Cabbage Patch Kid. 

"We told our parents that we are trying to teach the kids 

that memories, experiences, and 

relationships are more important 

than material possessions. 

They don't need gifts to know or feel love." 

Grandma Hayes 

Granddad and Grandma Wersler

So...this is where we are right now. We have more to clean out, philosophies to embrace, and lessons to learn. What is simple living to you?